A good thing for couples to learn about each other is the love language each of them uses. Many people aren’t even aware that five different love languages exist. Often, though, people in a relationship will feel unloved or underappreciated because they don’t recognize the language their partner is using.
Gifts don’t have to be expensive to be a token of affection. A pear shaped engagement ring is obviously a token of love. However, expensive jewelry is not the only way to express love for the natural gift-giver in the relationship.
Gifters don’t wait for special events like birthdays or anniversaries to buy presents for their loved ones. For them, gifts are the ultimate expressions of love and they get excited picking them out and presenting them.
Gift recipients in a relationship can be assured that the frequent gifts are evidence of a lot of thought and care on their partner’s behalf.
- Quality Time
Modern life sometimes requires both partners to be off in a separate room on their laptops. For this reason, it’s important to find ways to be together for quality time, not just grocery shopping or discussing the household budget.
If one person is more inclined than the other to express love via events, his or her partner is in for a treat. Event planners tend to be both imaginative and thorough in creating memorable occasions.
These events can be as simple as planning a movie date night once a week or as elaborate as booking a cruise. Either way, quality time together is a good way to create memories and build togetherness.
As long as event-planning partners keep in mind situations that their significant other won’t appreciate, they can both relax and have fun together.
- Physical Touch
This doesn’t necessarily mean sex, although sex is included in this category. Walking down the street holding hands, sitting next to each other on the couch or even scratching an itch for the other person are all examples of physical touching.
Some couples are more touchy-feely than others and sometimes people in a relationship are either overwhelmed by PDA (public demonstrations of affection) or feeling lonely because their partner isn’t holding their hand.
Even if casual touching doesn’t come naturally to one half of a couple, it’s easy enough to reach out a little more if it means a lot to their significant other.
- Affectionate Words
“I love you” is not the only phrase that conveys affection. Using pet names or just praising each other for a job well done or a dinner well cooked can be part of this language.
Sometimes it’s not even words but a special tone of voice that are reassurances of love.
Knowing that your partner can be made happy just by hearing you use your special name for him or her can be enough incentive to keep doing it.
- Acts of Service
If people don’t realize that acts of service are expressions of love, they can feel unloved at times. For ones who express affection in this way, it seems natural that mowing the lawn or fixing a squeaky door are not just household tasks that need doing but expressions of love toward their partner and their life together.
Those who recognize this can feel loved instead of neglected when they see a job being done.
Couples don’t need to use each language of love all the time. That would be unnatural and hard to keep up. As long as both people in the relationship use the languages that come naturally to them, and the other person recognizes the gesture, the relationship can be a happy one.
To learn how your partner feels loved, pay attention to how he or she expresses love to you. If your partner is not expressing love in ways that are meaningful to you, have a talk about the different love languages and which ones you appreciate the most.